Desperate to get away and have a decent evening for once, Johnny decided that, after much deliberation and careful planning, he would spend a whole evening out at a bar watching some live music. Alone, as Julianna didn't seem to be interested lately. She hadn't done much with him for some time, really; but, a few times now, with her constant sniping and verbal attacks, he was close to calling it quits with her and running away. But, as always, the lure of the good moments and the security of having somewhere to stay was enough to prevent him from packing up, collecting his belongings from her house, and getting the fuck out of dodge.
But, still. An evening away from her was definitely needed to keep his sanity.
The place he found was dark and had cheap whiskey and cheaper beer, and that was fine. Music was enjoyable as long as it was loud. After about an hour, and much liquor, he admitted he felt better not being around her. Not having her bitching at him, or just being nasty, was more than he could ask for. He didn't even mind if he felt lonely, which surprised him. It was sort of refreshing to be alone, away from her yelling. So, then, he savored it. He let his mind wander, getting himself acquainted with the other people around him, enjoying the sights and noises of conversation, without having to respond or acknowledge anyone. People watching. Music to accompany the feeling. Absolutely no obligation, no fucking guilt whatsoever...
Something caught his eye in the middle of his people-watching. Amidst the sea of half-tipsy faces, there stood a figure. An incredible one, drawing his attention with the head of angelic white hair standing out in the crowd. Like a porcelain doll, with soft eyes and cherry lips. Pale, unblemished skin, barely lit by the dull lights overhead, glowing when a fire was cast off from someone lighting a cigarette for the angel. It was fucking incredible, and Johnny stared at this person for an incredibly long time. Soon, though, he began to recognize where he was again. With great envy and fascination, he realized that the stunning creature he was eyeing up was a young man, around his age, swaying very slightly to the music and occasionally singing along with songs he knew, paying no mind to the staring.
This person was the definition of gorgeous. The kind of guy even straight men ogled at. He was beautiful. And a very lovely, pretty young woman kept circling around him with a big grin pasted on her over-glossed lips.
Then that fucker turned to look at him. Johnny was sure of it. And their gazes caught, and Johnny couldn't look away for a few seconds, until his own bashfulness forced him back into an uncomfortable slump over his drink and an unsure direction toward the jukebox across the room. Embarrassed. And attracted.
He felt unwell now, worried that someone would laugh at him. Worried that his sick tastes would be exposed to the public. Even if he didn't want that young person to be with him in a sexual way, he'd still think about it if presented with the possibility. The thought was just as bad, being aroused at the idea of guys doing things with each other.
He already knew this. To a small degree he'd given into those urges with a young friend when he was a teenager. He had to blame it on the guy then, but with even a mere glance, Johnny was turned on now. At a semi-packed public bar. Of all the stupid situations he got himself into.
There were a couple nervous sips before he could work himself up to turning around, realizing that while he'd been dealing with his queasiness, he had a visitor sitting next to him on the tacky leather stool at the bar. Johnny nearly jumped out of his own skin at the sight.
"Hi."
Johnny inhaled and was about to greet him in return, or answer any possible questions the man was about to ask, but the greeting came out as nothing but a thick rasp, and he cleared his throat quietly before taking a swallow of his drink. His mouth turned dry, though, and the dredges in his glass only moistened his tongue and the roof of his mouth briefly.
The angel suddenly spoke again, changing his approach. "Oh," he said, brightening. "Can I buy you a drink?"
"...What?" Johnny had no clue why he would be asked this. There were attractive women there, and older guys with money. Much better-looking people all around, and yet this guy would offer to buy a drink for someone who's less than desirable in looks and personal hygiene.
"Ah—Um. You know," the creature said, smiling again and nodding his fluffy-soft hair toward Johnny's glass. "Another one. On me, if you'll let me."
Johnny felt like this person was making a gentle mocking out of him, but he answered anyway. Just curious. "Sure. Thanks."
His new companion nodded at the bartender to mark down another rum and coke and leaned with his elbows on the worn-down mahogany. The material looked abused and carved up and stained, but his sleeves were still rolled back and Johnny could see the bare and flawless flesh of his arms and hands. His skin was lighter than candle-milk and it didn't even seem real.
On the wait, the creature took a moment to cast a side glance Johnny's way. "So...are you here with someone tonight?"
It was with caution and a tight swallow that he answered. "No. Not—not with anyone."
Another smile. This time it was kind. "Mm. That's too bad."
Johnny only hummed at the response, willing himself to stop being so nervous. Just a conversation, nothing to be tense about. He kept quiet and took his drink when it was delivered, swallowing quite a bit of the cold liquid in one go. When he set the half-empty glass down, he had the attention of those ethereal eyes once more.
"So," the gorgeous young man said, wetting his lips a bit with the tip of his tongue, a small smirk coloring his face. "Are you going to tell me your name? Or should I guess it?"
His tongue felt heavy and stuck. Suddenly he felt a small haze across his mind and thought maybe that alcohol was catching up to him at last. "Well, you haven't even told me yours yet."
Pristine teeth showed when the young man grinned at his response. "It's Paul."
"Johnny."
"It's a pleasure to meet you." Paul's chin dipped for a second politely. "I saw you looking at me from across the room, thought I'd say hi."
"You—" Anxiety shot through him when his hunch was confirmed. "O-oh. Was I?" He didn't notice the stutter. His brain was whirling. Fuck. Caught red-handed.
But the other seemed almost pleased. The playful curl of his lips was reassuring, at least. And he didn't even laugh. "You don't have to look guilty about it, you know."
Johnny opened his mouth to reply, but it seemed like the words were gone and no sound came out.
"It's okay, I don't mind the looks. Makes me feel pretty sometimes." He joked, but his hand waved the subject off. "Hey, actually, I've just been looking to play a game of pool, and the guy I usually call up is out of town. Would you be up for it? I know we only just met..."
"Oh. I mean..."
The soft gaze that followed Johnny the rest of the evening could have made his heart stop. And yes, once upon a time, he thought he knew how to flirt, just enough to impress women, but this other person now made his mind go blank. His mouth didn't seem to want to work, he couldn't remember the right things to say. Honestly, he didn't even care, his brain had clamped down on a few images and kept returning to them, the most obvious one being Paul's tongue licking along his bottom lip. The whole trip, walking over to the pool table, the attempt at shooting the cue ball, feeling the fuzzy nerves tingling up and down his arms the whole time, followed by him watching the stunning thing prepare his shot, didn't really seem real.
After a few shots and a little chatter, Johnny felt a little more loosened up and bold enough to make a few more advances, now with less shakiness and feeling a little more comfortable to turn up his confident charm. A few sweet nothings were exchanged; not blatantly, of course, but in small talk about the company, and the music, and anything else. What started out as simple enjoyment on Johnny's behalf quickly turned into a pleasant confusion in both minds. Hours passed in a matter of minutes, it seemed, and after getting repeatedly distracted by sneaking looks and fumbling through his shots, Johnny lost more than just the game of pool. He felt as if he didn't even have a grip on his own wants or needs anymore.
At some point, the new pair found themselves in the darkest corner, away from watchful eyes, a more quiet refuge than the rest of the bar. Loud music vibrated their skins as they drunkenly laughed and leaned against one another, and Johnny was only slightly shocked when delicate and cool fingers touched his arm, then took a fistful of the material of his jacket, and dragged him in for a kiss.
Everything erupted into chaos for a minute. Johnny couldn't form the sentences to explain that this wasn't the sort of touch he wanted from guys, his body was screaming yes, the room was spinning. It wasn't until he could taste Paul that he felt the need to tear his mouth away, too fast and hard that they both winced, and caught him in a hurried whisper.
"I'm not gay."
Those blue eyes seemed so lost for a moment. "You aren't?"
There was the image of Julianna's face for an instant. Only an instant. "...You taste incredible."
Paul leaned in with a coy grin and paused only an inch or two away. "That's a little more believable."
Another kiss, longer this time. He broke away, only to have Paul steal another that lasted. "Holy fuck...I gotta leave now," Johnny whispered when they parted again. "I can't—not in public. Anyone could look over."
Breathless, unhurried. "Where do you live?"
Again, that image of Julianna. Blonde curls. Tired brown eyes, bloodshot. Rounded edges, familiar. Johnny struggled a moment. "I don't know." He winced at the stupid answer, but the impulse to just get out of there, drunk, flustered, confused, tempted as he was, was as overwhelming as the urge to be touched, and he couldn't think clearly for anything else. "I mean, no. Uh, motel. Maybe."
"Ooh, dirty. Let's go."